Somewhere in the middle

Just the other day, I was walking down the road near where I live and I fell asleep. I don’t have to shut my eyes when I sleep, not necessarily. That way, most people can’t tell that I’m a somnambulist, even when I am out there in broad daylight. But, of course, my occasional snoring doesn’t help much.

Add to that some r.e.m., vivid dreams and a tendency to be highly emotive in sleep and you know why I don’t have any friends, anymore.

It wasn’t always like this though. In fact, until last week things weren't too bad.

“But do you realise how embarrassing it is for everyone?” Sally screamed as she ran away.

That was the last time I saw my girlfriend or any of my friends, as far as I can remember, in a state of waking that is.

Apparently, that very morning I had said to my best friend, "Ronnie, you're just a bloody immigrant. Why don't you go back to those jungles of wherever it is that you come from? I hate to see your face in this country."

The scene took place in the little alleyway by the supermarket. He had just bought some milk and was heading home. He saw me walk past him as if I hadn't recognised him. He turned back, pulled me by the shoulder and said to me "Got any cigs mate?," smiling. I punched him in the face.

A couple of weeks before that, I found myself in my dad's apartment at 3 am. I had paid him a surprise visit that evening, I learnt later.

"Nom! What a surprise. Come on in," he said opening the door. "Shall I get you some tea? It has become quite cold with all the rain."

After an hour's silence, when I finally spoke, my thighs were shivering as tears rolled down my face.

"I'm sorry Dad, I just don't know how to thank you for all that you've done for me. I couldn't say all this to mom. She would never stop crying. Can I… hug you?"

My eyes shut soon after as I lay on the sofa. I freaked out as I woke up staring at the giant clock on the wall when it struck thrice. How on earth did I get here, I asked myself. I knew the answer.

"Fine! Don't take any money from him but you don't have to yell at your father. Not after what you said to him last night." Mom slammed the phone down. It was three in the afternoon and things had gone back to square one in all of twelve hours. Dad gave up on me.

So, there I was again, sleepwalking on a bright Sunday afternoon. I had fallen asleep simply from the exhaustion - physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. I trudged along aimlessly.

"Nommieeeeeee!"I turned around to see Sally racing toward me. She had a blue dress on. I thought she didn't like blue.

"Nom, I love you," she whispered hugging me. "I'm so sorry. After all, it's not your fault. You would never hit me if you knew what you were doing. It's just a... it's just stress. But it's going to be alright. We're seeing the doctor at four thirty. Your mum and dad are coming too and so is Ronnie. Everyone loves you, honestly.”

“It’s ok, Sally.”

I felt so free as I walked away while she stood there crying.

The sky was clear blue and the road downhill. I was neither awake nor asleep. I was somewhere in the middle.